Ask The Expert Interview - Charlie Hunter@fanniefleur.wedding The guest list nobody talks about: the ones who don't show up because no one knew how to make it possible. Here's the supplier fixing that

Every planner, venue manager and supplier in this industry has had the same quiet moment: a client asks, almost apologetically, whether there's anything that can be done for a guest who won't manage the day without help. A parent recovering from surgery. A grandparent living with dementia. A relative whose mobility means a long celebration feels risky rather than joyful.

Too often, the honest answer we give is "not really" — and that guest simply doesn't come. Not because they weren't wanted, but because nobody in the room had a solution to offer.

Carolyn, founder of The Event Carer, has built her business around closing exactly that gap. A Registered Nurse with nearly 15 years' experience in palliative and long-term condition care, Carolyn provides discreet, professional one-to-one support for wedding and event guests who need extra help to attend safely and comfortably. For wedding businesses, that's not just a compassionate add-on — it's a capability that turns a "no" into a "yes" for clients who might otherwise scale back their guest list, or lose a loved one from the day altogether.

We sat down with Carolyn to find out how The Event Carer works, and why she believes it's a service every wedding and event business should have in their supplier book.

Her Inspiration and Journey

(FF) What led you to build a business around supporting guests who need care assistance?

(EC) By background I'm a Registered Nurse with a passion for people with long-term conditions and palliative care needs — those with conditions that cannot be cured, and those nearing the end of their lives. Living life as well as a person can, being supported to do whatever matters most to them, gives them a sense of value, purpose and fulfilment.

Whilst working as a Palliative Lead in Leeds, I supported a lady with advanced cancer who wanted more than anything to attend her daughter's wedding in the South of England. She didn't want to impose on her family or worry her daughter as her disease progressed. She needed someone who could discreetly support her when she became fatigued, help her when she needed the toilet or her pain relief, and be her advocate — while protecting her dignity. There was no one who could do that for her. Sadly, she became too ill to attend. But that experience is why The Event Carer exists today.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolyn-lewis-31955b3b0/

The Services On Offer

(FF) For businesses wanting to understand what they'd actually be recommending — can you walk us through the packages?

(EC) I offer three main care packages — Bronze, Silver, and Gold — along with a bespoke option for more complex arrangements.

Bronze is ideal for guests who need a little companionship and discreet assistance on the day itself — help with access, seating, photographs, and support through the reception, speeches and evening celebrations, before handing the guest back into the family's care.

Silver, the most popular choice, begins at the guest's home — helping with dressing, food, hydration and medication before we travel to the venue together. I stay throughout the day, and into the evening if wished, before returning them home and confirming they're safely settled with family or existing carers.

Gold includes everything in Silver, plus overnight support, giving families valuable respite and complete peace of mind.

Bespoke is tailored for destination weddings, multi-day celebrations, or events involving more than one guest.

(FF) How do you adapt your approach for each individual client?

(EC) Through gentle, empathetic questioning beforehand — and regular contact as the event approaches — I adapt my care to each person's specific needs. I ask whoever is booking me what they hope to achieve, and I explore what matters most to the guest personally. Together, we plan what success looks like for them.

Who Wedding Businesses Are Really Booking This For

(FF) Who typically ends up using this service?

(EC) A real mix — couples booking for their own parents, and adult children booking for much-loved grandparents. For a planner or venue, it's worth knowing that whoever books wants their family to carry no responsibility on the day beyond being present, and the person who usually holds the caring role gets real peace of mind. That's a relief a planner can offer without taking it on themselves.

Understanding the Barriers Your Clients Might Not Mention

(FF) What should planners and venues be alert to?

(EC) Often, people don't see the barriers until there's a need to move someone out of their usual routine. An unpaid carer, needed elsewhere on the day as Mother of the Bride, for instance, can't keep watch for wandering, anxiety or unsteadiness at the same time. For someone with dementia, attending alone can feel overwhelming. A dedicated professional providing one-to-one care overcomes exactly these barriers — and it's often a solution the family hasn't thought to ask for.

Creating Emotional Comfort

(FF) How do you reassure guests and their families once you're booked?

(EC) Creating positive relationships is key, beginning with my first conversation with whoever has booked me. Where possible, I do a home visit to meet the guest — though I try not to go too soon, as some may not remember me by the day itself. For many, that's simply part of who they are, and it isn't an issue.

Working Alongside Planners, Venues and Suppliers

(FF) How do you collaborate with the wider team on the day?

(EC) I ask gentle but important questions, often speaking with whoever provides daily care, to understand the guest's needs accurately. I also contact the venue, coordinator, caterers and photographer directly to discuss accessibility — sometimes suggesting photographs earlier in the day, or speeches before rather than after the meal. We review toilets, dietary needs and wheelchair access together, so the day runs seamlessly for everyone, including the planning team.

A Story That Touched Her Heart

(EC) One guest had undergone radical surgery just weeks before her granddaughter's wedding. The family weren't sure she'd be well enough to attend, but we planned with hope and care. Despite her dementia and recovery, she travelled by wheelchair along the cobbled streets of York, attended the ceremony, joined the reception and photographs, and even raised a glass of bubbly to toast the bride — surrounded by her son, daughter, granddaughter and great-granddaughter. That day reminded me exactly why I do what I do.

(FF) Is there a any topics you would like to discuss with us?

Breaking Down Misconceptions

(EC) It can be hard for a guest to acknowledge they might need extra support — many don't want to be seen as lacking independence. When I explain how the service empowers dignity and independence, and offers the feeling of being a VIP with a discreet companion, people see it differently. Because I collect guests from home and return them afterwards, they remain in control throughout — if they wish to leave early, that's entirely their choice.

Guidance for Wedding Businesses Recommending This Service

(EC) Place the person at the heart of the conversation, and accept that circumstances may change as the day approaches. Any planner recommending a carer should confirm they're properly qualified and insured — up-to-date public liability insurance, comprehensive business-use car insurance, and an enhanced DBS certificate are essential. If the bride's mother is usually the main carer, my presence can free her to fully enjoy her own role at the top table, knowing her loved one is cared for. That's a talking point worth having with clients early, not the week of the wedding.

Easing Worries and Anxiety

(EC) I'm easy-going and approachable, and I believe honest conversation and regular check-ins build trust. I don't wear a uniform — my aim is to be a discreet, professional "plus one." Nearly 15 years as a Registered Nurse allows me to offer a genuinely holistic approach, including sensitive conversations about whether attending is the safest option, because wellbeing always comes first.

Honouring Individual Needs

(EC) A calm, quiet journey to the venue helps guests relax and conserve energy. Once there, I manage the transitions of the day so they can simply relax, knowing I've already identified accessible facilities and quiet spaces for rest.

Continuing Care and Connection

(EC) I usually keep in contact for a short while after the event, and I always invite families to share reviews and testimonials — word of mouth is the gold standard for this kind of work.

Growing Awareness and Inclusion — What This Means for Venues

(EC) The Equality Act 2010 has encouraged venues to become more inclusive, though some are still better than others. I often call venues ahead of time to discuss accessibility — measuring doorways, requesting closer parking, flagging where marquee facilities may not suit guests with mobility or cognitive challenges. Wedding businesses who understand their clients' guests' needs are increasingly assessing accessibility early in the venue search, and that's a conversation worth starting with suppliers, not just clients.

Her Commitment to Excellence

(EC) I'm still a Registered Nurse, bound by the NMC code, and I keep that at the heart of my care — staying up to date through Freedom Providers, the RCN, Dementia UK, the Alzheimer's Society, and current Care Act and Equality Act guidance.

Her Vision for the Future

(EC) An invitation is a deeply special moment — it means being valued and wanted as part of someone's most memorable celebration. For a guest recovering from surgery, or living with a deteriorating condition, that invitation can be genuine motivation and hope. My dream is for wedding care to become a recognised part of event planning — a standard line item in a supplier book, not an afterthought — where inclusion, compassion and dignity are woven into every celebration.

A Heartwarming Moment to Close

(EC) I once supported a couple who had never met me before, and could sense their apprehension. By the time we left for the ceremony, we were chatting away. On the way home, the wife told me she'd nearly given up on the idea altogether — and that she'd had such a lovely day, and I'd made her feel truly valued. That, to me, is what this job is all about.